Friday, February 12, 2010

It's V-Day! Eat My Heart Out...No Literally, Kinda!

Valentine's Day is on Sunday. I despise Valentine's Day. Granted, I may be single and dateless this year (for first time in years!), but I've always disliked this holiday purely for the reason that if my man is going to show me he loves me, he better do it just because, not because a holiday mandates it.

There are some, whoever, dive into this sappy, pink and red, love-fest head first. Then there are those who take the explosion of hearts literally. This post is for those people. The literal and freaky way of celebrating V-day, courtesy of the folks at Think Geek.

Ever tell someone, "My heart is yours!" Okay, I'm guilty too, but I never thought of giving this clever little plus to prove it:

This heart is not only plush, mind you, it also beats! "Oh look, honey, I didn't only give you my heart, it's alive and still thumping in a sweet, yet completely freaky way! I love you! Where are you going...?" This goody is on sale! $14.99 for your very own thumping heart. Click here to order.

If you want to take it one step further, you can always have your love, erm, ingest your heart for $6.99.

It's gummy! It's yummy (I think?) and it'll give you an element of zombiness to your relationship, because really, that's what I always look for in a man- Zombie Qualities. Hot. I dig guys who want to eat my brains and heart (because they should really ignore the fact that I don't have much boobies to stare at.) Click here to order.

Speaking of horror-flick monsters, what Valentine's day wouldn't be complete without blood? Here are two products that is sure to make your honey squeal with delight:

"Oh honey, we can figure out what your blood type is, and if you're O+, we can pretend to drink your blood!" I think there must be a fetish for that somewhere, and if there is, I want no part of it. The first is obvious, it's a blood type kit. Why you need one, I'm not quite sure, but it's available for $8.99 here.

The other product is a "Blood Caffeinated Energy Potion. I'm including the accompanying picture because it says it all:

I suppose this would be for the Marilyn Manson/Dita von Teese (yes I realize they are now divorced) in you. Or, if you wanna get trendy and pop-culturey, the Bella and Edward in you. Here are the details:

Blood Caffeinated Energy Potion
A great (and gross) energy potion - with the same color, nutrients, and consistency of real blood.
Comes in a resealable, transfusion-style blood bag.
Yummy fruit punch flavor.
Caffeine: 80mg per bag
Energy Blend Includes: Iron, protein, and electrolytes.
Blood Type: D (for delicious)!
Unit Volume: 3.4 fl oz (100ml)

You can get it here for $4.99 - $15.99. Have a happy, hearty, bloody V-day everyone! Imma gonna go sulk in my corner now.

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